I'm Missing You So Much :(

I hate a lot of things but the second thing I hate the most in the world is when I'm in need of writing stories or continue my stories but then whenever I'm in front of my laptop, the words don't come out. Only those frickin' ideas which would keep on bombarding me every second of every day, distracting me in classes, making proper study sessions entirely impossible, and tempting me to bang my head on the wall several times.

I haven't been able to continue my hobby which is writing for a very long time now (4 months, to be exact) and I'm starting to miss it.

I miss the challenge in researching facts about a certain concept and molding it with my own version or my own fiction. I miss staying up late at night, just to read the dictionary and highlight words that catch my attention. I miss daydreaming in classes about my characters and picturing them in different scenarios which I would later on put on paper. I miss the feel of my fingertips against the keys on the keyboard, pushing against them hour after hour after hour after. I miss the familiar numb feeling of my fingers whenever I take a break to eat or simply stretch. I miss uploading my chapters and read them over and over again checking for corrections. I miss opening my e-mail and see landslide of reviews filling my Inbox - reviews which contained appreciation, suggestions, constructive criticisms, and encouragement from the readers.

Well, probably, that's the thing I miss the most about writing. The knowledge that people actually read my stories, reacting to the events, appreciating them and making what I write a part of their lives. You can say, it's a bit inspirational. I miss knowing that I affected the readers' feeling and emotions, making them laugh with a simple sentence, throwing them to tantrums over a series of mysteries, and making them cry with just simple words.

I don't know if I could ever go back to my writing hobby before but I just hope I would be able to do that because writing meant something more than just that to me. Writing became a part of who I am. Of who Samantha Borja- Grajo really is.

And I'm missing it so much. Just like a few things I miss in my life. I just hope they would all come back. Before I do something seriously insane.


Like never write at all.

Nah. I wouldn't let that happen.

No, I wouldn't.