Voices

I hear voices in my head, you know. It's not something paranormal or magical like I could hear other people's thoughts, though that wouldn't be bad. But no. In my case, the "voices" I say planted in my head are just products of hallucination and probably, stress.

There are times when I'm just sitting, really bored, in the middle of a class and then suddenly, I would hear these voices, saying things which were the least likeliest things I wanted to hear during that time. It would continue to taunt me, tease me with its words and the tantalizing images and scenarios it makes me think. It's utterly distracting, entirely pissing me off and downright infuriating.

I just want to shut the voices off. I have tried to do it many times now but due to recent circumstances, that desire of mine appears to be almost impossible.

I'm Missing You So Much :(

I hate a lot of things but the second thing I hate the most in the world is when I'm in need of writing stories or continue my stories but then whenever I'm in front of my laptop, the words don't come out. Only those frickin' ideas which would keep on bombarding me every second of every day, distracting me in classes, making proper study sessions entirely impossible, and tempting me to bang my head on the wall several times.

I haven't been able to continue my hobby which is writing for a very long time now (4 months, to be exact) and I'm starting to miss it.

I miss the challenge in researching facts about a certain concept and molding it with my own version or my own fiction. I miss staying up late at night, just to read the dictionary and highlight words that catch my attention. I miss daydreaming in classes about my characters and picturing them in different scenarios which I would later on put on paper. I miss the feel of my fingertips against the keys on the keyboard, pushing against them hour after hour after hour after. I miss the familiar numb feeling of my fingers whenever I take a break to eat or simply stretch. I miss uploading my chapters and read them over and over again checking for corrections. I miss opening my e-mail and see landslide of reviews filling my Inbox - reviews which contained appreciation, suggestions, constructive criticisms, and encouragement from the readers.

Well, probably, that's the thing I miss the most about writing. The knowledge that people actually read my stories, reacting to the events, appreciating them and making what I write a part of their lives. You can say, it's a bit inspirational. I miss knowing that I affected the readers' feeling and emotions, making them laugh with a simple sentence, throwing them to tantrums over a series of mysteries, and making them cry with just simple words.

I don't know if I could ever go back to my writing hobby before but I just hope I would be able to do that because writing meant something more than just that to me. Writing became a part of who I am. Of who Samantha Borja- Grajo really is.

And I'm missing it so much. Just like a few things I miss in my life. I just hope they would all come back. Before I do something seriously insane.


Like never write at all.

Nah. I wouldn't let that happen.

No, I wouldn't.

Stuck in Traffic

It's never going to end, isn't it? It'll always come back, haunting me like some sort of a psychopathic energy that would draw out all happiness and life in me, leaving me exhausted, consumed, and... lifeless.

I thought I could make myself believe what I want other people to believe so that they'll leave me alone and I won't be bombarded with a lot of questions any longer. I thought I could make myself do what people expect me to do. Well, they don't see how irritatingly, stubbornly and unreasonably stupid my heart works.

It doesn't follow. It doesn't obey. It frickin' has a mind of its own.

By now, you'd think my body, my mind and my heart have already exhausted themselves from all the ordeals they have undergone. But I guess these three goddamned things take vitamins and drink Gatorade to keep them going. Heck, I, the person, am definitely tired to the extent that I just want to sleep forever. How could recuperate when all parts of my anatomy contradict me?

So, I guesss, I'll just be like this forever. Like I'm stuck in traffic. Never able to go fast and move on to the next stop. I have to go slow, get pissed, remember things, find alternatives to entertain myself while I'm jammed in the middle of the street, and learn about how hard and unexpected life is.

HD At Its Peak

I can't stop the feeling anymore
Even if I don't really know the reason
I ask the question most core:
"Why of all people I like that person?"

It started out as a joke
Between me and a dear friend
But I was inevitably provoked
By the game I currently fear to end

Maybe it was his cheerful disposition
Or the way he played along
Or the fact that he treats me with so much affection
Hell, the list is just too long

But I fear the time he'll discover
These feelings I desperately cover
He'll not know what to say
He'll only leave and forever walk away

Game On

I haven't realized how badly I needed to change until this day.

It was all good and great - well, my day and mood, to be exact - until I received my first Mastery Test in Math for the Third Quarter and guess, how shocked I was when I found out how terrible my score was. To make the very long story short, I felt miserable since that moment and spent the rest of the day in deep contemplation.

And now, as the clock irritates me with its ticking, I have made up my mind. I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago. I'll straighten my priorities, fix the mumbo-jumbos happening in my life, and become happy. Becoming happy would be a bit difficult, I guess. Let's substitute it with the phrase "become contented". Yes, that's right.

Get ready, people, because the game is definitely on.

A Stranger Who Looked Exactly Like Me

I just recently discovered how drastic the changes that occurred in my life. Looking back at how things were before is like listening to a broken record. It starts as something nice and pleasant to listen to but as it reaches its climax, it begins to buzz and make irritating sounds. As it ends, the music which began as something beautiful and epic, comes to a chilling pause, like the notes and melody aren't in accord with one another.

Well, that's how I feel about the change in me.

I've always been the type of person who embraced all alterations and challenges in life. I've always been warm to problems evading the peace and harmony I enjoy. These are because I've always been ready with solutions and answers. People used to approach me for advice. Now, it seems like the world took a huge turn and I ended up being the one desperately asking people to help me with my problems.

I've also been the kind of person who knew how to deal with stress. I've always been calm and logical when it comes to decision-making. I've always considered the pros and cons before making a choice, whether or not it's for a big cause or a small one. Now, I easily get impatient and frustrated with things. I tend to lose my temper often. Whenever I'm dealing with stress for these past weeks, I've dealt with it through eating excessively (and risk getting fat) and a whole lot more. It's embarassing. I know, right?

Many of my friends, even those who are not really that close with me, have observed these changes. They all asked me the same question, "Ano natabo simo, Sam?" And I gave them the same answer. "Ambot."

I, myself, don't even know the real reason behind this massive change in my physicality, mentality and personality. I've asked myself a dozen questions every single day with regards to what transpired in my life recently. Still, I get no answer.

Firguratively, I've been afraid to face myself in the mirror and see how I've changed. But it was inevitable. One morning, after I've showered, I looked at myself in the mirror and just looked.

At first glance, I told myself I didn't change that much. Well, aside from the glaring fact that I've gained weight and turned dark in skin color. :| Physically, that is. But when I looked closer, past the physical appearance, I saw it. I saw what other people saw which made them ask me that question.

It was my eyes. They no longer had the same glow in them. They no longer looked... alive. When I tried to smile, I had to curb the urge to puke.

I was no longer me.

It was a different Sam.

It was a stranger.

A stranger who looked exactly like me.

Sembreaks : Major Piss-offs

Most students are usually happy whenever semesters end and then there are breaks in between. It is customary for children and teenagers like me to jump for joy, send group messages about how ecstatic they are about the sembreak, posts stuff there on their Facebook Wall about their happiness brought about by the break and all those whatnots teenagers do nowadays. I don't know what's so good about sembreaks. For me, sembreaks are suckers.

My brother teases me of being abnormal because I hate sembreaks which happens to be a big opposite of what teenagers feel about sembreaks. Jeez, call me weird all you want but I loath sembreaks. What the heck am I going to do? for one whole week at home? Seriously, I'd be drowning in boredom and the three things that could save me from dying are my cell phone, my laptop and the television but has no freaking use when brownout happen which occurs frequently nowadays. Now, what's left for me to do at home when I'm not out with my friends? No-freaking-thing.

So, people, who agrees with me that sembreaks are major piss-offs?

Hellcats!

I'm watching Hellcats right now while I devour the entire tray of carb-earning (not burning) chocolates filled with yummy mint. HAHA. I know, right? It's gross. :D

Idon'tknowhyIwrotethisbutIdid

I don't know why
But I've been feeling pretty high
Ever since this morning
I've been madly laughing

You see, it's all because of my crazy mind
Always filled with things and words I couldn't even find
Every second of every minute of every hour of every day
I've got a whole lot of whatnots to say

I researched this sickness I believe I carry
And you know what it said that filled me with so much misery?
I've got the worst case of hyperactivity
Abnormally excited and exuberant about any kind of activity

I thought, "Seriously?!"
My mind replied, "Seriously!"
And then, I said out loud, "Seriously?!"
And then my mind said out loud, too, "Seriously!"

I read this poem to my Mom a few seconds ago
She smiled and nodded and said, "Hello"
Why hello?
Because it's the only word I know that rhymes with ago

But, seriously, she said "Ooh"
You get it, no?
Boy, oh, boy
That brings me so much joy

As I finish this abnormally written verse
which people say is composed by someone cursed,
I find myself so confused
"Am I hyperactive? Or abnormal?", I mused

Wait, I still have something to say
That will probably not brighten your day
See, people say I'm the perfect jester
The one who everyone, she'll pester

Now, I'm done with my comical composition
Some of you might think I should be in a mental institution
Well, people, I'm sorry to tell
This but save us the crap and just go to hell

Untitled Love Poem

As I sit here at the balcony tonight
I think of what is wrong and right
Love based on Mind's moralistic murmur
Or love based on Heart's romantic whisper?

I never got the chance to answer my own question
Because thoughts of you bombarded my mind and imagination.

Never had I thought of love like this
A fire which flames are so wild and fierce
If only I have the reassurance that you feel the same,
dear God, I swear I'd willingly forget my name.

Despite how ludicrous and foolish this might be
But these feelings and daydreams bring me so much glee
That even if they're just dreams, at least, it's you and me
Smiling, laughing, and in love so deeply.

LMAO

It's funny how some of my classmates and batchmates endeavour to reach the 100-blog goal for our Journalism whatnot. I just finished scrolling through my dashboard and, you know that box there where all recent updates or blog posts are...well...posted? Hahaha. I laughed so hard by the time I got to the last update that I thought I'd lose my voice. Well, at least, what's left of it.

If you're wondering what on earth made me laugh like a madman, well, check your dashboard and you'll see why. :))

Introducing Me by Nick Jonas

I, I'm good at wasting time
I think lyrics need to rhyme
And you're not asking
But I'm trying to grow a mustache

I eat cheese, but only on pizza, please
And sometimes on a homemade quesadilla
Otherwise it smells like feet to me
And I, I really like it when the moon looks like a toenail
And I love you when you say my name

If you wanna know
Here it goes
Gonna tell you this
The part of me that'll show if we're close
Gonna let you see everything
But remember that you asked for it
I'll try to do my best to impress
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain
My heart, will you ask for it, for your perusing?
At times confusing, slightly amusing
Introducing me

Doo doo, doo doo doo doo to
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo to
La la la da
La la la la la la la la, da

I never trust a dog to watch my food
And I like to use to the word "dude"
As a noun, or an adverb, or an adjective
And I've never really been into cars
I like really cool guitars and superheroes
And checks with lots of zeros on 'em
I love the sound of violins
And making someone smile

If you wanna know
Here it goes
Gonna tell you this
The part of me that'll show if we're close
Gonna let you see everything
But remember that you asked for it
I'll try to do my best to impress
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain
My heart, will you ask for it, for your perusing?
At times confusing, possibly amusing
Introducing me

Well, you probably know more than you ever wanted to
So be careful when you ask next time

So if you wanna know
Here it goes
Gonna tell you this
The part of me that'll show if we're close
Gonna let you see everything
But remember that you asked for it
I'll try to do my best to impress
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain
My heart, will you ask for it, for your perusing?
At times confusing, hopefully amusing
Introducing me

Doo doo, doo doo doo doo to
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo to
Doo doo doo doo

Introducing me

-<3

Be Mine

Ian Somerhalder.

Dangerous.

Mysterious.

Hot as hell.

Sexy as sin.

What more words could I use to describe him? He’s everything a girl could ever want.

What more can you ask for? Other than, having him as your sweetheart?

Thank you, Reine :)

Due to current circumstances that left her seatmate-less, she became my seatmate for the last two days. Actually, I was the one who became her seatmate considering the fact that I was the one who had to move her stuff and move places every period. It was a burden yet fun.

Regina Johanna Gustilo, where will I start? You know, I've never been the kind of person who is good in putting my emotions with regards to reality into words. I'm more like a fiction-junkie, someone who is obsessed with writing about fictional situations that would exercise my capability of imagining things that are not... imaginable to normal people. See, I just admitted I'm not normal.

Anyway, back to the topic of this post, Regina a.k.a Reine is probably a bad seatmate since I consider her as a big, big, big temptation to talk for days or years about the recent Gossip Girl episode, or Vampire Diaries and all those whatnots. Yes, I became terribly talkative for the past two days ever since I started sitting beside her. But, as much as I want to smother her every time her mouth opens and the tune of Nick Jonas's "Introducing Me" comes torturing me and urging me to sing along and ignore the rest of the world, I still see the past few days as probably one of my favorite days.

To my dearest used-to-be-seatmate-because-her-seatmate-is-in-Bible-Camp friend, thank you for those two special, filled-with-laughter days. :)

I love you, Reine. :*

Injustice

Injustice is very common nowadays. Injustice enters our homes, sits with us in school, shops with us in malls, walks with us on sidewalks and fly-overs, dines with us, plays with us, Googles with us, and it even takes baths with us. In short, injustice is everywhere.

Sometimes injustice comes in times when we don't expect it. Sometimes it comes from people who we don't even expect has the capability of being unfair. But most of the times, it pisses us off.

Everyone has the right to be given chances, right? Sure, we've made bad decisions in the past but why should we be judged by our previous misgivings and grievances?

People might wonder why on earth would a fifteen-year-old write a blog about injustice. Well, people, this fifteen-year-old has just been pissed off by a certain person who she USED to believe doesn't know how to hold grudges or be unfair but today, that person proved me wrong.

Seriously, I'm pissed. :|

O, Cell Phone, Where For Art Thou?

O, cell phone, my cell phone
Where for art thou?
I've been waiting for you since Monday
Because I've been lonely since that day

O, cell phone, my cell phone
Where for art thou?
That day when the Wicked Witch took you from me
My life shattered like leaves falling from a tree

O, cell phone, my cell phone
Where for art thou?
If you're in her cabinet,
come to me because we're each others magnets

O, cell phone, my cell phone
Where for art thou?
My pocket has been missing you
It needs to be filled and wooed

O, cell phone, my cell phone
Where for art thou?
I'll dream of holding you tonight
O, that doesn't seem so right!

O, cell phone, my cell phone
My fingers are already tired
Therefore, I'm stopping this now
I'll sleep with the hope of our love to be allowed

Love over Logic

It's funny how I've never imagined us being together. You and me, tsk, it doesn't go well with each other. The context is so hilarious. You falling for me? Not likely. But, damn, didn't fate prove me wrong. I ended up in the very place I've never imagined before --- deep, deep, deep in you.

It's all your fault, you know. If you weren't so hot and wet and wild (insert laugh here), I wouldn't have fallen for you. But saying that I wouldn't have fallen for you would be the biggest blasphemy a person would ever commit. No, honestly, it wasn't your hot-and-wet-and-wild physique that drew me deeper to you. No, it was your sweetness, your admiring respect, and your goodness that made me fall for you.

I know my mind tells me to stop but my heart tells me otherwise. Would it matter if we weren't suitable for each other? Would it matter if we were both perfect? Would it matter if we had a lot of things in common? No. Definitely and without a doubt, no, it wouldn't matter because I love you so much that I'm willing to defy logic and damn everything else to hell just to be with you.

Better keep your promises because I'm staying whether you like it or not even if my mind in odd against my actions.

Walking on Sunshine

The first thing that came into my mind when I stepped foot on the floors of the St. Martin's Court was "damn, why is it so hot and crowded in this place?". Plastic chairs were scattered at all corners of the place and people were everywhere. Teachers were in deep conversation with parents who either looked happy, proud and flattered or miffed, appalled and dismayed.

But as I spotted the table which bore the cards of the high school learners, I felt myslef being pulled by something invisible, urging me to come forward. I ignored my Mom and Dad who were just centimeters behind me and made my way to the table.

They asked me what section I belonged to and I tried to keep the irritation off my voice when I told them what section I was from. The woman smiled, searched for my card in the stack of long white cardboards and finally took mine out. I barely heard her say my first name because all I saw was the card and all I heard was the enticing sound the lifeless paper emitted (of course, I only imagined that part). I was about to reach out and take the card away from her when she said my Mom had to sign on the attendance whatever. I turned to look at my Mom and gave her a sign-the-frickin'-paper-woman. But there was another obstacle because one teacher (I'm not going to mention names here) was standing in front of the attendance sheet with one of her hands resting against her hip, talking excessively with another teacher who was behind the table. Seriously, if only I didn't care about morals and ethics, I would have pushed her aside and signed the paper on my own. But I was raised right by my parents and I politely uttered a short "Excuse me". Thankfully, she obliged and stepped aside.

Gah! Then, I nudged my Mom to sign and when she finally did, I grabbed (of course, lightly) my Report Card from the woman who chuckled at my eagerness and the hungry, almost-delusional look I was sure my face was displaying. I damned near ripped off the plastic cover in my impatience to find out about my grades and, holy moly, wasn't my wait worthy.

I was happy with my grades. It wasn't my best but it was sure as hell good and the sense of success that came over me as my eyes trailed down from one box to another was... overwhelming. I'm not saying that because I'm happy with my scores, I'll just keep it that way. No, I'm going to do my best in every subject that I'm taking and hopefully, just hopefully, I'll finally get the grades I've been craving for.

Now I can vouch for the famous phrase "I'm walking on sunshine" because that's how I'm feeling right now. Like I'm walking on sunshine.

Saving Grace: Chapter 1

This is the first time I've attempted on writing a Dramione fic. So, I hope you'll like it.

The story is set during Draco and Hermione's sixth year in Hogwarts. The story follows the events that took place in the sixth book yet it follows my own timeline so, don't get confused when you find that I interchanged a few stuff. Also, Harry and Ginny had already been dating since their fifth year right after the battle at the Ministry of Magic. The story kicks off when Harry finds Draco crying at the girl's bathroom. But here in this story, Hermione's the one who discovers our hunk of a hero and she finds him two months after the first term starts. (And I don't mean Harry Potter). So, the first Quidditch game hasn't started yet, blah blah blah, and all those things.

So, without further ado, this story has been disclaimed and enjoy reading.

"Honestly, Harry!" Hermione broke into her best friend's roll of explanations about Ron's impertinence towards her and his and Lavender's repulsive public display of affection. "You don't have to explain for him. And it's not like I'm bawling my eyes for my loss. I'm fine, actually." She added when Harry raised an eyebrow at her.

Still, he remained unsure. "I don't know…"

She sighed and skidded to a stop in front of their common room. "Harry, don't worry. I'm okay. I just need to go to the library to… think while I wait for my next class. Go ahead without me."

"I'll go with you." The man was persistent.

Hermione planted a hand on his chest firmly. "Enough, okay?" She almost shouted. "I'm tired of people pitying me. Ron's an idiot and we all know that. Yes, I did love him, and, yes, I thought we would be together, but not everything in life goes with what we want to happen. So, go on with Ginny. I'll be at the library alone and I'll see you later at Professor Snape's class. Good bye." She snapped, whirled around, and stalked away with her chin held up high, and her back as straight as a rod.

Reassured that Harry was not following her, she allowed her shoulders to slump and slowed her pace. No one was watching her now. The corridor was well deserted except for the paintings hung on the walls. She no longer had to put on that brave face and that faux smile she held for everyone else to see and to prove them that she was a practical person who knew better than to sulk and cry her eyes out for a boy. A stupid boy.

Tears began to well in the corners of her eyes but she took a deep breath and held those tears back.

She loved Ron. She loved him very much. It was almost too painful to bear. She had always hoped for that day to come when he'd finally pull her to a secluded place and tell her that he loved her, too, and then they'd kiss each other with such passion that Hermione's blood pressure would reach a feverish pitch. But time took its own course, away from her desires, and somehow, Ron had found someone he loved even more than he loved Hermione. Lavender Brown. Eww, the name itself caused Hermione the urge to throw up the chocolate Ginny had given her while they were out talking beside the lake. A fellow Gryffindor and a sixth-year, Lavender Brown was the girl, you'd say, every guy's fantasy. Blond hair, blue eyes, and the perfect figure… she was all a guy could ever want in a girl.

Too bad she didn't have a brain to match those voluptuous assets and that superbly annoying pout, Hermione thought with a grim smile.

But that was the kind of girl Ron wanted. The dotting, submissive one who would follow after him like a pug and do whatever he wanted without any arguments. If only Hermione paid more attention to him than her studies, he would have chosen her. But then again, Hermione Granger changed for no one. Even for someone she loved so deeply for so many years. Like Ronald Weasley, the git.

Yet she'd buried herself into schoolwork too much this year, she admitted as she rounded a corner. Perhaps, if she tried to loosen up a bit and start to have some fun just for the sake of… having fun… for herself, that'll probably do and reduce her workload a bit. Yes, that would probably do the trick. She could feel herself aging day after day. A trip to the wild would, without a doubt, bring back her youth.

She grinned at the prospect of doing things out of sheer fun and pleasure.

Hermione was so caught up with her thoughts that she almost didn't hear the sound of someone crying. Almost. It was a faint sob which anyone could have mistaken as the whistling of the wind. She paused and waited for the sound to come again. And it did. A bit louder this time and it came from the girl's lavatory. Thinking it was Moaning Myrtle again in one of her fits, she started to resume her walk again.

That was when she realized she had already passed the library and was, in fact, a good deal of seven minutes away. She was about to turn back and go to her original destination when she heard the sound again. It was a loud, muffled cry that echoed sadness and grief which touched her heart and moved her. Before she knew it, she was already walking towards the girl's bathroom.

She opened the door and stepped inside the dimly lit place. What she saw caused her a start and to stop in her tracks.

Standing with his arms braced against the sides of the sink and his shoulders quivering, the epitome of beauty and sexuality ― no other than, the notorious Draco Malfoy ― cried like he didn't care of anyone finding out or hearing him.

His head was bowed low and his back was at her so he didn't see her but a moment later while Hermione debated whether she should go or stay, Malfoy's head snapped up as if he felt her presence and their eyes met each other through the mirror.

As soon Malfoy recognized who she was, he did a double take and swiveled around briskly. "What the hell are you doing here, Granger?" he shouted angrily at her. "You're not only a Mudblood. You're an eavesdropping Mudblood, too!" He ranted, visibly shaking with rage and embarrassment at being discovered in such a vulnerable state.

If Hermione felt pity a few seconds ago, she wasn't right now. In fact, she was ready to kill him. "If you have so inconveniently forgotten, I happen to be a Prefect and last time I checked, this is the girl's lavatory which is strictly for girls, in case that detail slipped your pathetic mind, too, Malfoy." She haughtily stated. "I could easily report you to the Headmaster and you as well know that such violation could suspend you."

There was a small silence after what she said.

"Might as well use your wand on me." Malfoy surprised her with the concession she heard in his voice. "I'd be grateful if you'd kill me right now."

Hermione couldn't contain the look of surprise that came over her face. Here was the legendary Draco Malfoy, the Prince of Slytherin, admitting defeat and pleading ― hah! pleading ― for her to take his life. She was too stunned to move or talk.

Malfoy looked at her with fury. "Now, what are you gaping at? I said take it! I don't give a damn about my life anymore! TAKE IT!" He roared furiously and again, he started to sob and sink to the ground. He had his left leg bent upwards and his left hand propped against his knee. With an uncontrollable sob, he buried his face against his arms.

For the next two minutes that passed, the only sound heard in the room were the water running in the sink and his muffled cries. Hermione stood there, staring at him, dumbfounded and unsure at what to do.

God only knew how much Malfoy had hurt her in the past five years they've been going to Hogwarts. There wasn't a day when she was not harassed by him or insulted by him. He was the first one to brand her as Mudblood. The know-it-all Mudblood from Gryffindor. If she were a selfish person, she would have gloated and called all the students up to the girl's lavatory to watch Malfoy cry like a hussy.

But Hermione was not that person. As much as the notion was tempting, she did not want to degrade herself and stoop down his level. Instead, she did what a good and reasonable person would do: she dropped her bags, hurried to kneel beside him, placed her arms around him, and pulled him to her.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Malfoy struggled to keep his anger in his voice. "Don't you touch those filthy Mudblood hands on me!"

Hermione slapped his head and pushed his head back to her chest. "Shut up, Malfoy. Just shut up." It wasn't a retort or a nasty reply. She said the words with gentleness and warmth as if she were comforting a friend, not her best friend's archenemy.

Somehow her quietly said command slapped him hard on the face and he did shut his mouth up, crying until all of his tears were shed. And all the while, Hermione held him, rocking him back and forth, sometimes rubbing his arms or his back, as how a mother would comfort her child.

Minutes, hours, days or years may have passed by, but the two were oblivious to time. Finally after twenty minutes, Draco's sob had quieted and had reduced to hiccups.

"Feeling better?" Hermione asked quietly, looking down at him.

Embarrassed by his situation, Malfoy wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt and turned his face in Hermione's embrace, looking up and meeting her eyes. For the first time in their life, they stared at each other in a very dangerously close range.

Now, Hermione understood why he was chased after by many girls, not only in their school but in London also. He had a very amazing profile. Like he was carved by a very talented painter from Apollo's image. Even better-looking, Hermione added. His eyes were of a very unusual yet compelling shade of gray. One could lose in the depth of those, she thought. And his lips were utterly perfect.

But she was still so deep in Ron that she overlooked Malfoy's handsome features. Very nonchalantly, she was about to repeat her question when she noticed his frown. Instantly, she panicked. "Are you all right? Did you cut something?" She hastily yet a bit roughly checked him for any signs of blood or wounds.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Malfoy reassured her, pulling back his arm when she took hold of it with the intention of examining it meticulously. "I'm not hurt and there's no blood. No reason to get your knickers up in a bunch."

Hermione snorted. "I see you're fine already considering that you're back to familiar ground."

Malfoy gave her a sheepish grin. "No wonder they say you're smart. You catch up quite fast, Granger."

Good God, were they flirting now? Hermione thought. But knowing Malfoy, she sure that was not what they were doing.

He was entirely too close to her. His face was a mere inch from hers and if she'd bent her head, they would have been kissing.

Appalled by the direction her thoughts were leading her to, she quickly stood, knocking Malfoy down and causing him to bump his head against the floor. "Oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry!" She gasped and hurried to help him up. "How badly did you hit your head? Let me see." She tried to take a look at the back of his head but he stilled her movements by gripping her wrists with one hand.

"Granger, Jesus, I'm fine." He said, slightly irritated.

"Oh, um, all right, then." Hermione stuttered, embarrassed at her gaucherie. Merlin, he was too close again. And then, there was that look again as if he were in deep contemplation. Remembering that her hands were still bound by his hand, she whispered, "You can let go of my hands now."

But Malfoy didn't appear to hear her. He was gazing at her with an intense, brooding expression she wondered badly what he was thinking.

"Malfoy." Hermione called to him. "Malfoy." A bit louder this time.

He started to look at her questionably but then he must have realized she was asking him a question because he was suddenly out of his stupor. "What did you say?"

"I said you can let go of my hands now." Hermione repeated, slightly amused.

Malfoy looked down at their joined hands. "Oh, yeah." He released her wrists and then, he gave her a dazzling boyish smile. "Must be having a concussion." He teased.

But Hermione took it to heart. She gasped. "Oh, God! You did hit your head pretty badly! Come on, I'm bringing you to Madam Pomfrey." She began to tug him to the door but he was too strong for her to drag.

He chuckled. "Relax, Granger. Sheesh, I was just teasing you."

She blushed and there was an awkward pause. Fidgeting the sleeve of her robe, Hermione broke the tension between them first. "Oh, well, then, I probably ought to go. I'm five minutes late to Defense Against The Dark Arts already and I know Snape won't lay it off. So..." She was unsure on what to say.

Malfoy was also a bit uncomfortable, especially after his emotional outburst. "Er, thanks for, er, keeping me company."

Hermione might as well had a heart attack. Draco Malfoy thanking her? Please. This new him was quite awkward to deal with.

"No problem." She replied courteously as she retrieved her bag from the ground where she dropped them earlier. "So, I guess I'll see you around." She said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I guess so."

With a half-wave of the hand, she turned her back and was about to close the door behind her when she heard him call out to her in that usual despicable voice of his, "Hey, this doesn't mean we're friends, Granger! And if you tell any of your friends, especially Weaselbee and Potty, I promise you you'll regret it."

Surprisingly, his threat didn't seem to faze her. In fact, she chuckled and called back out, "And you'll regret promising it."

She closed the door at once so she didn't catch Malfoy's smile.

Hermione arrived at Snape's class ten minutes late. The infamous professor was in the middle of a discussion when Hermione walked inside the classroom, panting.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, professor." She apologized, out of breath.

Snape tsked at her. "Well, what do we have here? Little Miss Prim-And-Proper eIftardy for the first time in six years. Charming, isn't it?" He sardonically remarked. "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for your unpunctuality, Miss Granger, and I don't care if you're a Prefect or not, but if this incident happens again, I'll deduct fifty points from your House. Understood?"

Hermione suddenly had the urge to run to the front and grab him by the neck. Or rather, hex him. "Yes, sir."

"Hop on to your seat now, Miss Granger, unless you want another fifteen-point deduction?" He threatened with a cold smile.

She didn't have to be told again. Hermione scurried toward her seat next to Harry, two rows from the Teacher's Desk.

"Where have you been?" Harry asked as soon as she sat down beside him. "You've never been late before. Are you ill?" He was now worried.

Hermione smiled a bit. "Relax, Harry, I'm all right. I just dozed off while reading at the library." She lied, hoping he'd buy it.

Harry stare at her suspiciously but then he nodded, although he was still half-convinced. Hermione was a hundred-percent sure that her highly inquisitive best friend will bring it up again. Probably later at dinner when Ron's around, she bleakly thought.

She sighed inwardly before shifting her attention to Professor Snape who was continuing his discussion about Veelas.

She tried to focus on the lesson, even though she had read and studied and memorized it already, but Malfoy would occasionally enter her mind. Like how pitiful he looked, how depressed and sad he was, how desperate he sounded when he pleaded for her to kill him and end his torment, like how he cried. But then, there were those thoughts, those inevitable thoughts. Like how handsome he looked up-close. Sure, he was probably the most handsome guy in Hogwarts, not to mention, the most loaded, too, but Hermione hadn't really looked at him from a girl's perspective. Every time they met, she looked at him as her best friend's enemy. Nothing more, nothing less. That was that. But seeing him up-close, she could now understand why everyone girl went gaga over him. His hair looked so soft and gorgeous that she wanted to run her fingers through those desirable locks. His body, the muscles underneath that perfectly tanned skin, was so to-die-for that she wanted to touch his biceps, every nook and corner of his sculptured torso. His lips, so flawless and perfect, had been so tantalizingly close to hers that she wanted to brush her lips against his perfect ones. But, most of all, his eyes. Merlin's beard, his eyes were of an remarkable shade of gray and they always had a mischievous glint in them. When he turned those eyes at her, she was instantly lost in them. It was frightening at first when he stared at her. Those sinful lead eyes appeared like they were looking through her, right at her soul. Draco Malfoy could really be intimidating. Gorgeously and deliciously intimidating, she added with a secret smile.

"What are you smiling about?" Harry's question jarred her out of her fantasies.

Hermione blinked. "What? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking of something funny." Or some dark, handsome devil. She shook her head, not allowing her hormones lead her toward that direction.

For the next two hours, she forced her mind to only accept academic and rational thoughts, and close the gate for ludicrous fancies of a certain tall blond Greek god. She planned to distract herself with a truckload of books and studies for the rest of the school year. She wasn't going to allow some ridiculous twenty-five minute encounter with Draco Malfoy addle her from her foremost priorities. With that firm decision, she focused on doing what she did best: listening to the lesson and reciting and complaining when the explanation was not enough for her.

And all throughout the class, Harry Potter studied her with a calculative look, still dubious, knowing that there was a reason behind his best friend's peculiar behavior.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Official HD Trailer

The movie's set in November. I sure am dying to watch the movie. Not that I'd pay attention to the other characters. My eyes would be only trailing Emma and Tom's movement. Stupid, I know, since Tom won't be having a lot of scenes but I'd bring my outrageous yet highly pleasurable imagination and I'd envision them together, running around, chasing after Horcruxes while sneaking a few private moments. *wink wink* If you know what I mean.

And did I mention that HP 7 is in 3D? Ah, hell! That would be fan-bloody-tastic! Fuck Twilight! Harry Potter's the reigning king. That is, for now, of course. *sinister laugh*

DECLARED.

Word's out, my darlings. It's official. Yes, you heard it right. I am officially, in all honesty, blissfully, neurotically and wickedly in love with Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. Dramione, that's their love team, alright. The name itself is sexy and enticing. Like them.

....PAUSE TO SCREAM....

Here's the story. Last week while I was browsing the Net, I read a few fics about them. Out of boredom. Hour after hour as I buried my face between the screen and the keyboard with only water to keep me alive ( yeah, I like to exaggerate ), I began to like them. Actually, by the time I finished, I was deeply in love with them. With Dramione. Eep!

So, to vouch for my unfathomable obsession, I won't be sleeping tonight. I'd be wide awake until the first sign of morning arrives, languidly promenading from site to site to amplify the current subject of my sanity, of my all.

Godric, I must be truly insane. Ha ha ha.

Hell, yes, I'm seriously insane.

And loving it.

Seriously.

I Never Should Have

I never should have gone into that book store at the first place.

I never should have peeked through the shelves.

I never should have fixed my eyes on you the moment you walked in.

I never should have sat on that table by the corner.

I never should have looked up when I heard your cough.

I never should have gaped at you as if I were a retarded person.

I never should have stuttered an okay when you asked if you can sit with me.

I never should have stared at you behind my lashes.

I never should have blushed so obviously when you caught me gawking.

I never should have answered when you asked my name.

I never should have asked for your name in return.

I never should have engaged in conversation with you.

I never should have hung on to your every word.

I never should have given you my cel number when you asked for it.

I never should have smiled at you when I left.

I never should have let myself be affected so deeply by your smile.

I never should have stayed awake that night, thinking about you.

I never should have grinned like mad when you texted me.

I never should have said yes when you asked me out.

I never should have rushed to the mall to desperately buy a new dress.

I never should have stayed in my bedroom, getting ready, for three hours.

I never should have checked the clock every half an hour.

I never should have run to the front door every time I heard a car.

I never should have smiled so adoringly up at you when you finally arrived.

I never should have let you hold my hand while we walked around the darkened park.

I never should have allowed myself to be further charmed by your allure.

I never should have let you kiss me at my doorstep.

I never should have jumped for joy that night.

I never should have dreamed of you that night.

I never should have squealed with delight when you asked me out again. And again. And again.
I never should have fallen in love with you after the fourth date.

I never should have filled my Trig notebook with doodles of your name and mine.

I never should have made my whole world revolve around you.

I never should have said “I love you” that one morning.

I never should have felt hurt when you shrugged indifferently.

I never should have believed my friends when they said you were seeing someone else.

I never should have followed you that afternoon after school.

I never should have watched you embrace that girl and kiss her on the lips just the way you kissed me awhile ago.

I never should have gotten out from my hiding place and ran to you.

I never should have jerked the girl off of you and shouted at the top of my voice.

I never should have ranted on and on about fidelity.

I never should have slapped you when you said I had no right to shout at you and tell you what to do.

I never should have said I had the right because I’m your girlfriend.

I never should have felt it like a blow when you said I wasn’t your girlfriend and I was just some hump and dump you found convenient of having around.

I never should have slapped you hard again.

I never should have cried myself to sleep the following nights.

I never should have locked myself in my room for the next few days that followed.

I never should have starved myself.

I never should have shed my tears for such a lowly and despicable person.

I never should have allowed myself to be blinded by your looks and your pretenses.

I never should have acted like a lovestruck teenager who had seen the sun for the first time her entire life.

I never should have been an idiot.

But most of all, I never should have believed you were mine.

Boom!

I couldn’t remember or recall how she and I became friends, like best best friends. I try to concentrate on those memories back in first year but all I could remember is her hanging out with the whole group. At first, we didn’t click but as time went by, we got to know each other and found out that we have a lot of things in common.

But I’m not here to tell you about the things we share in common or our differences, either. Right now, I’m going to tell you about her ― Anna Monica Padilla Uygongco, also known as Mocca to many, the girl who has grazed her way into our hearts with her easy laughter, her amazing sense of humor, and her vivid imagination.

Born on the 26th of March 1996, Mocca shares the same birthdate with one of her favorite actresses, Keira Knightley, and she never let anyone miss that connection. Mocca loves to eat siomai and her favorite fruit is pineapple. She rarely drinks soft drinks and seldom eats junk foods. She likes her balunggay bread stuffed with all sorts of whatnots she can find in her kitchen. In short, Mocca loves to eat.

Topping her adoration for food is her obsession for the hit American TV series, Grey’s Anatomy, from which she found one of her many soul mates, Patrick Galen Dempsey. Yep, she’s got an eye for Dr. McDreamy. Chief McDreamy. But, no, this girl doesn’t stick to one fellow only. She’s got a junkyard full of men. Let me see, there’s Tony Stark / Iron Man, James Marsden, Orlando Bloom, Gary Sinise, Jack Sparrow / Johnny Depp, Nathan Fillion, Emmett McCarty Cullen / Kellan Lutz, and the like. And the like. In that junkyard, she’s got women stored in a corner, too. Hmm… Stana Katic, Meredith Grey / Ellen Pompeo, Melina Kanakaredes, Keira Knightley, Rosalie Hale / Nikki Reed, and the like. And the like. *snickers* Did I also mention she loves to say ‘and the like’?

She doesn’t run out of stories to tell everyone. She has a way with words, blends with the phrases, and feels the sentences. Plus, it’s fun to watch the emotions playing on her face. Yep, she wears her heart on her sleeve. One could say whether she’s happy, overzealous, lovestruck, starstruck, sad, or bored. It’s written all over her face. It’s like watching a movie. There’s a thrill in the play-by-play of her emotions.

The classroom is never boring whenever she’s there. She’s like this time bomb, waiting for the perfect time to explode, and believe me, when she does, it feels like a strong earthquake hits the place. A random person in nature, she makes you smile with almost everything she does. Either she may be reciting the most foolish line from a movie, singing the funniest song you’ve never even heard of, or using her gift to make the silliest and stupidest faces, she never fails to unite the class in mirth.

She’s Joy Personified, a goddess with a power to touch everyone with her laughter, a doctor with a cure to heal everyone’s wounds, a singer with a voice to soothe your worries, and a person with a heart and an ability to make you feel beautiful.

Mocca is that girl ― the one who believes that she’ll one day meet Patrick Dempsey and make him fall head over heels for her, the one who dreams of becoming a successful surgeon someday, the one who wants to have sixteen children in the future. (And I don’t even want to imagine how she would look like after the sixteenth baby.)



FUN FACT:
We both love the word “seriously”. And the funny thing about this is when she tells me something, I say “Seriously” in a very astonished tone, and then she’d reply back, “Seriously”, with one eyebrow twitching upward, and then I’d go, “Seriously”, again in a gasp, and then she’d go, “Seriously”, again and then we’d end up laughing our asses off because of our insane conversation.

Overjoyed *sarcasm there*

Eight more minutes and then I'm off this computer, off this seat and out of this building. Eight minutes more and I'd be dragging my feet towards the chapel for the singing practice. Eight minutes more till I officially go bored.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about the singing practice. What I'm complaining about is the heat. I'd be so hot that my sweat would literally pour out of my skin and you wouldn't need magnifying glasses to trace their movement downward.

Oh, those hard, stone-hard, seats, yeah, I'm complaining about that, too. I mean, thirty minutes of sitting on one of those chairs or on of those pews is already worth giving me a one-week trip to the spa to massage my butt in order for me to feel it again. Imagine an hour and a half sitting on one of those and imagine me not complaining. Not likely. Most definitely not.

But what good will complaining do? The school won't listen to me and would even reprimand me. Hell, they'd give me an hour of lecturing about sacrifice and all those whatnots. So, the best things to do is to keep quiet, open your mouth, sing, endure but quietly complain.

I'm a typical fifteen-year-old. Surely you don't expect me not to complain, right?

Feisty

I racked my brain for the perfect introduction but all that came out was this:
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (And, dears, this is not a scream of delight or satisfaction. It’s partly that but mostly a scream of frustration.)

ECLIPSE, the third installment to the nerve-wracking Twilight Saga movies, was a BIG disappointment to me. And that’s a disappointment with a capital D times a hundred.

There are tons of disappointing things that I really want to put here but that’ll only blacken my mood and I don’t want to wake up tomorrow with a crappy disposition.

But I’m also not mean. I may be insane but I’m not mean. So, I have to admit that there are also things that made me squeal and giggle and push me at the end of my seat.

Boo-Hoos:
1) Bella’s wig was WEIRD. It appeared like it was plastered to her scalp.
2) There were more scenes cut and edited than normal. And that almost made me tear my hair off. Almost.
3) They changed the plot. I mean, sure, Eclipse is about the rivalry between Edward and Jacob but in the book, they also found a rather vague friendship or a sense of camaraderie, if that’s what you want it called. In the movie, though, all they did was fight and puff their chest at each other. They should have showed the part where Edward paved way for Bella to spend some time with Jake, too. In that act alone, you could see how much he loves Bella so much.
4) The scene where Rosalie was telling Bella about her human life was a huge disappointment, too. They cut the part where she told Bella about all the women after Edward and Bella got jealous and confronted Edward and then he said she looked cute when she’s jealous. I love that part! :) And also the part where Rose tells Bella about how she met Emmett. That would have been a nice scene. The bear-vamp mauled by a bear. Ha ha ha. But in the movie, Rose only said, “But it all changed when I met Emmett.” As if that line could suffice it all. (You with me, Moccs?)
5) Rosalie, Emmett and Esme hardly had speaking parts. They were like statues, standing there, merely for props. (Again, Moccs, you with me?) In the book, Emmett had a lot of speaking parts. (Even if they were mostly foolish ones and sometimes had no sense at all.) Rosalie, too. Although, what she predominantly did was to growl or hiss at Bella but still. And Esme. Jeez. Esme only spoke at the scene towards the ending. Was it so expensive for the production staff to give them more than ten or fifteen lines? Hello! People would like to see those gorgeous lips moving. *eye roll*
6) They didn’t show how Alice and Jasper met. They only showed Jasper’s story which didn’t even include meeting her. Plus, the part where Jazz and Alice went hunting for the Cullens. I was pinning for that scene. :(
7) JESSICA STANLEY – VALEDICTORIAN? Seriously? All the girl did from the last two movies (including the books) was to flirt, giggle, and flirt. I couldn’t see how she went from a U to an O. *scratches head*
8) A lot of scenes was left out.
9) A LOT OF SCENES WAS LEFT OUT!
10) A LOT OF SCENES WAS FRICKIN’ LEFT OUT!!!

Ooohs-Aaahs-Yayys:
1) Robert Pattinson AND Edward Cullen (Yeah, they’re two different men to me. One’s clean. The other’s dirty. One’s mortal. The other’s immortal. One’s hot. The other’s cold. Get the point? And if you do, leave them alone. They’re married. To me. :P)
2) Kristen Stewart
3) Jackson Rathbone
4) Ashley Greene (She’s too damn beautiful just to be called a pixie.)
5) Kellan Lutz
6) Nikki Reed (Dang, the girl’s hot.)

*Merely having them in the movie was a big OOOOH, AAAAH and YAAYY. If you haven’t noticed, I didn’t include the toothsome Taylor Lautner who, if Mocca would have anything to say about it, is my Siberian husky. His ass was just too glib.*

7) K Stew’s acting has improved. She doesn’t breathe heavily and stutter anymore. Most of the time, she doesn’t. Maybe playing a liberated punk rocker broadened her horizon. She’s no longer irritating to listen to or look at. I’m proud of Wife #1. :))
8) JaLice moments were beyond words. They truly have chemistry. Their scenes were sweet and they looked natural together.
9) Emmett always brushed his hand against Rosalie’s arm or shoulder in a very affectionate way. He also takes her hand every time he walks in the room and she’s there. (Awww. Moccs? :) )
10) Edward and Bella in Edward’s room, on his bed. It was… OOOOH, AAAAH, and YAAYY! Enough said. Hands down. :)
Twilight was an okay beginning. New Moon was an improvement. Eclipse was a step back. And Breaking Dawn is… yet to come. I have nothing more to say other than this… and brace yourselves ‘cause I can be a bit feisty.

IFTHEYDOBREAKINGDAWNTHEYWAYTHEYDIDECLIPSEANDWILLCUTAND
CUTANDCUTANDCUTSCENESFANSHAVEBEENLOOKINGFORWARDTOFORFOUR
ORFIVEYEARSANDWILLREDUCEEMMETTROSALIEESMEJASPERANDALICE
SPEAKINGLINESANDBELLAANDEDWARD’SWEDDINGWILLTURNOUTINTOA
FRICKIN’HUGEDISAPPOINTMENTIPROMISEYOUI’LLHURLANDEVERYONE
WOULDN’THEARTHELASTOFMYRANTINGWHICHPEOPLEHAVELEARNEDTOC
ALLHELL!!!

Now, do you get what I meant by “feisty”?

Four's a festivity. Five's a FAMILY.

Two years ago, I came to Assumption – Iloilo as a freshman. I came with a promise that I would never ever let myself get carried away with appearances and pretenses. I came with a promise that I would never get myself so attached with people because I have learned from an experience that with attachment and emotions, comes a terrible price to pay.

But who knew I’d end up turning my back at that promise?

In that year, I met four amazing people with equally amazing personalities who taught me that sometimes it’s okay to get attached and pay the price that comes with it as long as you have the right kind of people to back you up.

Oh, I can still remember my very first day and the following months that followed as if it only happened yesterday.

First day of school was all right. I woke up early that day after having a fitful sleep. It had always been like that for me. Ha ha. You’d think I’d be familiar with it now, what with all the schools I’ve gone to. But, ironically, no, I wasn’t. I still had butterflies in my stomach with the typical first-days-in-a-new-school questions: What if they find me weird? What if they won’t like me? What if I spend the next following years as the class’s recluse? My mind was like a freakin’ tennis court of negativity. As I sat at the back of the St. Anne’s Hall, I had my hands clasping each other in a death grip, watching everyone mingle with everyone, exchange gossip with everyone and speak to each other with an openness and carefreeness I envied. Those were the two things I longed to share with someone I was sure who wouldn’t betray me and the two things I was afraid of, at the same time.

I have learned that feeling too much could be one’s worst enemy. I have learned it at a young age when I should have been enjoying the recklessness and joy childhood brought to a person. But, no, I spent ― no, wasted that age protecting my friends who turned out to be not what they seemed to be, fighting battles I knew I couldn’t win, and sleepless nights filled with nightmares and problematic thoughts. The best and worst part was that I found out that my best friends who I treated and considered as my own blood sisters, who I lied for, and who I honestly loved, turned out to be back-stabbing, lying pigs who actually didn’t give a damn about what would happen to me. They weren’t there when I needed them the most. They weren’t there to offer me their shoulders when I needed them. They weren’t there. They simply weren’t there. In the end, my emotions were the one who kept me up at night, crying myself to sleep. My mind was filled with ifs and what ifs. If I only looked beneath the surface… If only I were smarter enough to read the signals… If only I didn’t allow myself to be… If only I didn’t meet them… If, if, if, if! They were all ifs! But there was nothing I could say that could change what had already happened. So, I turned the other cheek, vowed to myself that I would never get myself so emotionally attached to someone other than my family, and decided to move on with my life.

Then, I met these people. These beautiful people who showed me true friendship and sisterhood. These wonderful people who brought back the old me, the one who was carefree and always happy, always looking forward to every challenge. Once again, the world appealed to me. I went to school with a smile and went home with a smile. Smiling was natural when I was with them. I didn’t have to pretend that I was happy. I really was. Because of them.

But our friendship wasn’t perfect.

We were in our second year in high school when our amity was tested. Several times, in fact. And the last misunderstanding was the one that caused us one of our own to take a different path. We tried to ignore the feelings and the longings that coursed through our blood. We tried to dislodge the small voice that spoke in the back of our head, telling us that we weren’t fine, that we missed her. For months, we went on our own, just us four. Yet we watched her ― even if we denied that fact ― missing her every single second that passed. But we couldn’t deny the fact that she looked happy, she was happy. And, somehow, we finally got ourselves to accept the reality that we had really lost her. It saddened us, yes. I could see it in my friends’ (the ones who were left, of course) eyes. But similar to my case, I knew we had to move on.

Our time together, the four of us, was fun. After we got over the initial reaction of losing one of our own, we spent more time getting to know each other and ourselves. We realized that there were things we still didn’t know about each other. But what we didn’t realize was we were growing into mature people inside, also. We laughed. We smiled. We had fun. And we also learned how to forgive.

Enter junior year. Still the same people, still the same personalities, still with the same group. This year, we were, as I would say, divided equally. Two of us were in one section while the other two was in another section. What was ironic was that those other two were classmates with our old friend. Maybe that was what triggered the memories of our time together as a group. I don’t know but a week after the first day of school, I was startled by a text saying that we were going to be complete again. But those simple words made my heart beat rapidly as if I were being chased by a devil. I felt like I took a high dosage of Ecstasy pills. I was so happy that I could laugh and cry at the same time.

I didn’t realize how much I wanted her back till that time. I think we, four, didn’t realize how badly we wanted her back until that moment when we received that message. It felt right again. We welcomed her back with open arms and affection.

We picked up where we left off and now, here we are: happy, content, and most importantly, together. We might have changed physically but the friendship, the camaraderie, and the love are still there, present in the air, clinging to us like magnets.

As I think about it now, I’ve also changed as a person. Long gone was the girl who feared intense emotional attachment to another person. Long gone was the girl who was afraid of facing the world. Today, I’m a young lady who welcomes all challenges in life, whose doors are open to people in need of a shoulder. I’m no longer afraid of facing the world because I know, deep in my heart, that there are four wonderful people out there who are willing to face them with me. Moreover, I’m no longer jealous of those who turn to their friends with such openness and familiarity I longed for because I found something much more powerful in my new found friends.

To my best friends, sisters, and confidants ― Treshia Marie P. Flores, Chessa Alvia P. Memoracion, Roissy Vanessa H. Recto, and Anna Monica P. Uygongco ― I owe you everything: my sanity, my happiness, my good humor ( ha ha ha), and my life. I love you, guys. :)

Dishes For One Week

There goes that voice again. That voice which wakes me up every morning, that voice which follows me wherever I go, that voice which haunts me even in my sleep. I recognize that voice. It means that hell’s about to strike. In five… four… three… two… CLASP!

My bedroom door opens with a loud whoosh and there she stands, all five-foot-and-one-inch tall with her hands balling into fists on her hips, her hips that have seen better days. She glares at me with those piercing eyes that seem to bear holes on my skin. Her teeth, clenched tight; her jaw, hard set; and her knuckles, white.

Oh, great. What did I return to the wrong place again? A glass? The bottle of water? My towel? Jeez! Is it because she caught me poking my baby cousin hard on the stomach again thus causing him to wake up with a start?

Slowly, she unclasps her fists.

Now, I’m going to get it.

“Dishes for one week.” My mother simply says through gritted teeth, dropping the thing that was concealed in her right on my bed, before turning around and leaving my room.

What’s wrong with her? I think as I turn to look at what she dropped on my yellow-clad bed.

Ah, heck. She found her favorite jar which I stashed in a cabinet at the kitchen.

And which I broke last week.